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Today was a tough day.  I ate too much for lunch and really wanted to eat even a lot more for supper.  Stephanie saved me.  She texted me and gently talked me out of eating the chinese that I thought I wanted.  I had chicken and baked potato instead.  I did start the day off good. I got on the elliptical for 5 minutes while waiting for my friend to get her for classes.  I then ate Hacienda for lunch after my first class.  I then had my second class after lunch. Pharmacology with the teacher who is hard. It’s going to be nuts.  I need all the smarts for this class.  It was also my mom’s birthday.  She passed away over 14 years ago but it’s still hard to deal with.  I know my chinese was just for emotional reasons and not because I really wanted it.  This is why Steph and I make a good team.  She did her best to tell me no and then I was going to order it anyway but the more I thought about it.  The more that I knew she was right.  She gave me the strength to not reach for what I know I shouldn’t have.  I did do 12 more min on my elliptical after I got home from school.  I also used the stairs at work in place of the elevator.  Small changes will hopefully reap big rewards.

I survived my first day of class.  It was actually pretty boring. LOL!!  The room was so cold.  I’m so ready for spring.     My class is on the second floor so I need to get into the habit of using the steps instead of the elevator.  The problem is that I have to lug this huge bag around.   Oh well, more exercise right.

I did get on my elliptical for ten minutes.  I’ll try to get more in tonite. I really need to up my exercise.  It seems that I can come up with a million and one reasons why not to exercise. LOL!!  I’m the queen of excuses.  I have a challenge going on with Steph and she won last week and is on her way to winning again this week. I want to wear that bracelet darn it.  I will do it next week that is a  promise. I’m going to start upping my exercise.  I can do it. 

Ok, first the nerves.  I start my classes tomorrow and will be doing so on very little sleep.  I get off work at 10:30 tonite and after a 30 min drive home will probably not get to bed until midnight.  I have to be up around 6:30 am to get ready for school.  I’m nervous about it but I’m ready. I can do it.

Habits:  Well, I noticed a big change today and it’s for the good.  I was deciding on what to have for lunch.  I was contemplating going out to eat and just grabbing a sandwich before work.  Instead, I fixed a frozen pizza.  While the frozen pizza  wasn’t much better just the fact that I chose to eat at home was a big improvement especially when it meant I had to cook something.   I had a real low point day yesterday and went to bed with 17 pts leftover.  I already know what supper is going to be and it’s low in points so I’m still good.  Still no exercise today.  Why?  Don’t know.  No good excuse.  I need to get my butt in gear.  I want to wear the bracelet.

Stress.  Where do I start?  LOL!!  It’s job related but I bet you could have guessed that.  I got to work yesterday and the State Board of Health was there for their annual survey.  Usually to me, it’s no big deal. Just have to watch your p’s and q’s.  Well, I didn’t watch them close enough.  I did answer the questions properly when I got stopped.  However, I was told by the nurse to stay near my group because she had given the one resident a laxative and this resident was going to need to go to the bathroom immediately when I was called.   I got approached by a resident’s wife from the opposite end of the other hall and asked to take her husband to the restroom.  I told this resident that I couldn’t because I was on the other hall and then I looked up and saw her husband’s aide walking towards his room.  I explained to her that she was his aide and was on her way.  Well, I turned around and one of the state ladies was looking at me and not with kindness.  I did the wrong thing. I was supposed to go help her and not “refuse” because I was not on their hall.  We are expected to do the whole building.  I don’t know if I’ll get in trouble for this or not.  Who knows.  Hopefully,  I won’t.   Steph texted me and they are needing aides at her place and so I’m going to talk to hubby again tonite about that option.  I’m getting real frustrated with my job.  I agree what I did was not the proper thing but my nurse told me to stay close to the gentlemans room. I couldn’t even go to the dining room to help with supper.  I am on an easier group tonite and my favorite group so that will help tremendously.

Well, I hope all is doing well for everyone else.  I won’t be on again until tomorrow evening if then. Depends on  my work load at school and all.

Ok, I did pretty well yesterday until I got off of work and then hubby pushed me over the edge. LOL!!   He made me a huge cup of chocolate milk which is worth a lot of points.  Ok, like Steph texted me.  He didn’t hold me down and make me drink.  He did go to the store to buy more milk at 11 pm last night which is unusual for Jason.  I didn’t ask for it.  It was a little frustrating. Tasted good but frustrating.  Today is a new day and i’ll do better today. 

I need to get busy earning my activity points.  I’m sure Steph already has me by an advantage so far.  I will do something tomorrow.  Today is being a lazy day.  I start classes on Wednesday and am nervous about it. 

Work is there.  Steph told me that her facility is willing to hire me back so it’s going to be an option for me. I worked there a couple of times before.  I left the first time because we moved and the 2nd time because I wasn’t getting hours.  We’ll see.  It’ll depend on if I can get hours.  I may go in tomorrow and talk to them.  It won’t hurt to talk to them. 

Well, I’m going to go because not much is going on.

It’s been a hectic couple of days.  First, Steph congrats on winning week one of our challenge.  Watch out though because I’ll get you this week.  Second, I couldn’t go to ww this morning due to a CPR class that I had to take.  I did weigh at home so it’s unofficial until I get to ww but the scales read 239.4.  Yes, I’m under 240.  This is a huge deal for me.

I had a renew faith in people after today and wanted to relate to you all to let you know there are still good people in this world.  I start classes on Wednesday. I had to be CPR certified by Monday.  Well, I was scheduled for my CPR class today.  It was last minute and I was really nervous something would happen.  I called and got scheduled in the beginning of December. I was taking the class at the Red Cross here in Peru.  Well, I got a call yesterday and they told me they had to cancel it due to me being the only one in the class.  I started crying.  MInd you, no CPR no nursing school.   I told this to  the lady.  She called the instructor and the instructor agreed to come in and teach me by myself.  I was relieved.  They could have just said sorry that it was my problem and left it at that but they didn’t.  The lady was really nice as well. 

Food wise today was awful but I’m not dwelling on it. I’m picking up,dusting off, and moving on!

I decided that I am going to hold off on finding another job.  While I’m still upset about my job, it will be more stressful for me to change jobs while starting my classes.   I’m going to wait and see what the February schedule looks like.  I will survive it.  Plus there would be a little satisfaction for me to know that I used them to get through nursing classes to only go somewhere else to work as a nurse.  Plus, I didn’t sleep at all last night.  My foot is hurting and I am limping big time.  Do you actually think they would hire an aide who is limping?  My job knows I can do the job while I’m in pain but the other place wouldn’t.  There is also the fact that I love my residents.  They are the greatest.  I had to stop and rethink everything.   Thanks for all of your advice.  As for how the other aides are,  I’m not worried.  I’m not there to make friends. I’m there to do the best job I can do and leave knowing that I did what I could do. 

Well, I’m not going to stay on much longer.  I’m going to go take a nap.  I’m meeting Steph tonite to go to the mall to walk and redo pictures.  I’m so excited.   I wish I had gotten some sleep because I want to want to exercise now.  My aunt took me out to lunch so it wasn’t the greatest but that is okay.  I will bounce back and walk it all off tonite.

It’s been over 3 months now that I started ww.  I still can’t believe my motivation is still high even amongst the stress.  I figured out why.  There are numerous reasons:

1.  I can control what goes in my mouth.  This control makes me feel good especially when everything else is out of control.

2.  Buddy Slim!  You guys rock!  You keep me on my toes and help me tremendously.  God led me to this wonderful site.

3.  Family and Friends.  I have support from everyone.  My guys will ask me if I have enough points left for food before they get them for me.  My mother in law helps tremendously.  Can’t forget Steph.  She is my partner in crime, best friend, confidante, and sister.

4.  WW meetings and leader.  We have an awesome leader and group of people who have seen success.  It’s inspiring and everyone is awesome.

5.  The feeling of achievement.  It’s great to see the numbers go down on the scales or go to bed knowing that i did right.  I’ve managed to incorporate exericse into my routine this week and it feels so good.

Okay, now that I’ve done all the positive.  My only negative now is work.  I’m sorry to talk about it so much but I need to vent.  I  am going to apply to the other nursing home tomorrow.  Hubby told me if I get it to quit my current one without notice.  I did get my verbal warning today for my two call offs this week.  I normally do not do this but with school starting I want to get my foot into the door at the new nursing home ASAP.  I’m not too confidant in too many things but the one thing I know is that I’m a darn good aide.  I will miss my residents at this home.  They love me.  I try to brighten their lives up.  Not too many of the aides do that.  They treat them like they are just part of their job.  The nurses don’t care at this facility and it hurts me to see it.  Mind you I’m the type of aide who kisses my residents good night. It’s just a kiss on the cheek but it makes them feel better or I give them a hug.  I don’t do it to all of them because some of them don’t like it.  It brightens their day.  SOme aides think it’s gross.   I don’t.  What if that resident was your grandmother or grandfather?   I want to work somewhere that has people who care.

Ok, enough venting.  Tomorrow Steph and I are getting together to walk around the mall and take pics for our new page.  We are calling ourselves the Weight Loss Mamma’s.  Thank you Lyssa for the comment you left on our page.  It meant a lot.  Steph and I are so excited.  I think we’ll even keep the page going afterwards. It’s nice to have somewhere to post our progress and pics. 

Ok, sorry to ramble on and on.  Love you all!!!

Steph and I have teamed up for the million pound match up.  Ok, we were already a team but we have a page now and have entered the contest.  Yippee!  I’ll give the link at the end of my blog so you all can check it out.  We have to amp it up now.  I mean we were trying hard before but we both know we have improvements to make.  I started this morning.  I didn’t get out of bed early except for the small time I had to take kid to school because he fell back to sleep.  I got up about 11 and had a bowl of cereal for breakfast.  I then took a walk.  I bundled up and out I went.  I did a 25 min walk. I know that isn’t much but it’s a start.  I also did 1 mile of my walk away the pounds DVD last night with the waist belt.  It was a workout. I kept my promise. I worked out.  I’m ready to get this weight off. I’m in the process of fixing veggies for lunch.  Yummy!!!

As for work, I am now due thanks to my 2 call offs this week for a verbal warning.  Exciting huh?  Oh well!  We’ll see what happens.  I’m going job hunting tomorrow.  I was really debating it.  It would mean starting a new job and school all at the same time.  Talk about stress.  I’m a big girl.  I can handle it.  The thing is the place I’m going to apply to probably pays better then what I make now.  It’s also in the same town that I have school in.  Jason wants me out of my job now.  If the new place is good, then maybe I’ll be okay to work there as a nurse as well. 

I’m off to get my lunch finished.  Here’s our link to our page for million pound match up:

http://landemommy.spaces.live.com/default.aspx

I don’t have pink eye.  I had a speck of metal or something in my eye that the doctor had to take out.  I still didn’t go to work though.  They were unhappy because they were down 2 aides.  One aide showed up then went home.  I’m like “hello”  they knew that I may not be in so why she let the one aide go home is beyond me. Oh well, hubby wants me to go looking for another job.   I don’t think this job is treating me fair so I’ll look for another.  It’s the nice thing about being an aide.  I can always find a job.

I did eat to much supper. I had chinese but i’m still within points.  I am not worried.  I  hadn’t ate much up until then.  Hint: Don’t let yourself get to hungry.  I did pick the garlic chicken over general tso’s.  The garlic chicken has far more veggies in it so it is more nutritional.  They don’t put to much garlic sauce on it so the sauce isn’t bad.  I also had crab rangoons and an egg roll.  Yummy!  I’m doing alot better on not eating out so it works out great.

Well, I’m going to go for now.   I’ve still not exercised but I will get some in. 

You know it’s easy to blog when you are doing bad.  I mean I can come on and just pour my heart out on how bad I’m doing.  Well, I’m not doing bad.  I’m doing pretty good food wise.  Exercise could be better but it will come. 

I may  have pink eye. Yuck!  I could think of worse things to have. I go to the doctor to find out for sure. If I do have it, I can’t go to work. Darn it!  I found out last night that work is working around another girls school schedule and keeping her full time.  They won’t do it for me though. It really sucks.   My hubby will hit the roof when he finds out. 

If I don’t work today, I will exercise this evening. I promise.